I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
