Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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