sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
