I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
