those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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