You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
