Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
