I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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