if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
