the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
