everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
