The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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