It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
