A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
