I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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