I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Pants are for mortals
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
