I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
