Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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