You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
