I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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