'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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