forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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