don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
