so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
