I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
