after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
