Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
