I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
