There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
