it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
