marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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