another moral hangover. fuck.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
