so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
