This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
