best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This is my gift to your gina
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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