butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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