Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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