He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
