I'm sorry my penis didn't work
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
