She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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