drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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