worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
