So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
do herpes really smell.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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