i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
