Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
