Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
