Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
