a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
