Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
