Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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