we're blogging at a bar
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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