the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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