took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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